Blog written by: Elvin Aydin Keles, PhD
Most of us are in the zone now – where we turned off the thinking capacity of our brains and kind of operate from a survival mode. Why? Because we are significantly fatigued from all the Covid-19 situation and do not feel the adrenalin rush of the beginning stage anymore. If you are feeling a growing tension in your relationships, this may actually be the reason why.
Here are some tips on how to deal with relationships whilst in this terrible place:
- In your conversations with friends and family – try to take a position of “not knowing” or “not being too certain about things”. That means that you do not presume to know what is going on until the other person explains it to you. While “not knowing”, you gently insist on alternative perspectives. (“Of course, I don’t know, but when I think about it, it occurs to me that X might be happening instead of Y.”). This may soften some of the tension arising from feeling “stuck”.
- Keep making an effort to monitor your own mistakes and apologize when necessary. Just because things are tough now doesn’t give us the right to just let it go.
- Please remember that empathy goes a long way.
- We do not “know” how our family members, co-workers, friends and patients actually feel. Try to stay curious about the other’s experience in your interactions. Ask questions rather than assuming what they are thinking or feeling in that moment.
- Today is the time for staying in the present instead of bringing up the past. Please remain mindful of it.
- If you end up getting into an argument, try bringing it back to you rather than pushing it onto the other: “What have I said that bothered you?”
- Quickly step back if the other person seems to be losing control. Just observe and remain impartial. They might be having a harder time in dealing with the situation than you.
Please remember that this will pass, everyone.